Archive for June, 2005

Open on October 1st, 2005

Fyse June 17th, 2005

Dear Fyse,

You’ve kept disturbing internal dialogues to a minimum of late, so we haven’t spoken in a while. I trust everything is well with you. Did you have a good summer? Hopefully all the theatrical exploits went to plan, and perhaps your earnings exceeded your expenditure. With any luck you’ve had an enjoyable and rejuvenating break, returning to Cambridge full of vim and vigour for a new year of study.

I wont ask how the summer reading went, and how much of your planned catch-up work was completed. I can guess the answer all to easily, and suspect I wouldn’t like it. I will say this however. Think back four months, and remember that exam term. Remember the stress, and the self-recrimination. Remember the fear and the sense of failure. Recall those coursework deadlines you scrambled to meet, and those exams for which you crammed desperately. Look back further to those wasted days, those weeks of idle lethargy. Remember most of all the realisation that you actually enjoy your subject when you finally put the effort in.

You got away with it last year. Again. Make this year different. A 2:2 may be enough to avoid awkward interviews with tutors, but now is your final chance to find out what you’re capable of. Do you want to look back on your university life and see underachievement? So do something about it. Cut out the idleness. Axe the sloth. Become one of those scarily dynamic people who spend every waking hour in fruitful activity. (What? It could happen!).

Yours in ever worshipful adoration,

Fyse

PS If this open letter now seems ill-advised, make a mental note not to repeat such a gross self-indulgence.

PPS If this open letter spurs you on to academic success and eventual worldwide fame, be not selfish. Share this fantastic idea with others, forcibly if necessary.

PPPS Buy stamps.

The Edinburgh Fringe…

Fyse June 11th, 2005

I’ve got a tricky decision to make. As my regular readers will know, I’m off to Cornwall in September to do a show at the Minack Theatre, which is a very exciting prospect considering how much I enjoyed last year. The dilemma comes from the fact that I’ve been offered a role in a production at the Edinburgh Fringe in August, which will take over most of July for rehearsal too. That leaves me with rather little scope for money earning. In fact, it effectively leaves me no time to get a decent job back home, and it’s likely I would only be in St Albans for a few weeks in total.

I am very keen to go to the Edinburgh Festival, and by all accounts it’s a fantastic experience. I’m not sure how well known it is in the States, but the official website throws around phrases like ‘biggest arts festival in the world’. Last year there were 1695 shows by 735 companies in 236 venues, which would have taken over five years to watch back-to-back. It’s such an amazing event, and I’d be gutted to go through university doing lots of shows and not go to Edinburgh. Of course I could always try next year, but I doubt my finances will be any stronger then. I’m going to investigate the possibility of getting work in Cambridge during the rehearsal period, and maybe even up in Edinburgh during the run, as friend of mine did last year. Have to wait and see how this pans out, but I’d love to do both shows.

Right now, I’m off to the cinema to see ‘League of Gentlemen: Apocalypse’. Did you ever get the TV series over in the States? It’s very black comedy, and I’m not sure it’d go down too well across the pond. Might be a bit too odd…

Tagged for a meme…

Fyse June 9th, 2005

As I mentioned previously, Kerrie tagged me to continue a meme, and so here it is. The game is to write about five from the list, then add one to the end.

If I could be a scientist . . . that would mean I did alright in my exams. Unfortunately that isn’t very likely. If I get through next year, and get that Physics degree, does that make me ‘A Scientist’, or would I have to do a PhD for that? Hmmmm… If I were to become a scientist, I guess the field of renewable energy would be of particular interest to me. There aren’t many research areas of more pressing importance to the world right now.

If I could be a farmer . . .
If I could be a musician . . .
If I could be a doctor . . .
If I could be a painter . . .
If I could be a gardener . . .
If I could be a missionary . . .
If I could be a chef . . .

If I could be an architect . . . I’d build in the style of medieval cathedrals. While I don’t subscribe to the Christian life philosophy, there’s no denying the beauty of their buildings. I would NOT design buildings in worship of money instead, but as a tribute to something more important. Perhaps a new gothic stadium for Tottenham Hotspur FC, with a vaulted stone ceiling and stained glass. That would be sweet.

If I could be a linguist . . .
If I could be a psychologist . . .

If I could be a librarian . . . I wouldn’t be very keen on letting people actually borrow my books, and woe betide anyone who broke the spine of one. Also, a condition of joining would probably be borrowing books that I think you ought to be reading. Everyone would start with ‘His Dark Materials’, and move on from there.

If I could be an athlete . . .
If I could be a lawyer . . .
If I could be an inn-keeper . . .
If I could be a professor . . .

If I could be a writer . . . then I’d like to be the next Simon Singh. For those of you not familiar, he’s the author of ‘Fermat’s Last Theorem‘ and ‘The Code Book‘. Writing popular science is something that seriously interests me, but I’ve got no idea how to go about doing it. A good start might be to write for the student press, I guess…

If I could be a llama-rider . . .
If I could be a bonnie pirate . . .
If I could be an astronaut . . .

If I could be a world famous blogger . . . I’d be Dan of Moxie Blog fame! Not only would I then have an amusing and widely read blog, but I’d also be opening a small independent art-house cinema in downtown Springfield, Missouri. That would be AWESOME.

If I could be a justice on any one court in the world . . .
If I could be married to any current famous political figure . . .
If I could be a show dog owner . . .
If I could be a fictional character . . .

If I could be a fly on any wall . . . (that’s the one I added)

Well, I’m now meant to tag someone else to continue the chain, but I don’t want anyone to feel obliged against their will. Therefore I shall make a casual suggestion to all my readers that they might like to continue this meme, if they felt so inclined. I shall call this a ‘light tap on the shoulder’ as opposed to a proper ‘tag’. Will some terrible fate befall me now I haven’t passed this on properly? Ah well…

Freedom, but at what cost?

Fyse June 7th, 2005

Well, the exams are all over. It feels pretty good to be free, but would be a whole lot sweeter if I was happier with how they’d gone. Looking back now, they seem every bit as bad as they did at the time. I’ll most likely get a 2:2, which is bad if not exactly disastrous, but a part of me is still scared that I may be heading for a 3rd. That would be enough to earn me an appearance in front of the Academic Standards Committee next October, which is an experience I would rather avoid. Still, if such is my fate at least they will force me to work. Most likely they will ban me from all theatrical pursuits and insist I regularly update them on exactly how much time I am spending working. They may even go as far as to install some sort of electronic tag in my brain that will electrocute me if I stray more than 5 yards from a textbook. Well, I’m sure they would if they could.

My new found freedom has not been utilised entirely in the pursuit of sloth, though it has characterised much of my activity since Saturday morning. Having finished, I spent most of the afternoon catching up on sleep before partaking in a modicum of drunken revelry that evening. More than a little hungover, I was still playing football at 12 on Sunday, and the afternoon was then spent trying desperately to fix my temperamental computer. The poor thing has serious issues, and I’m hoping to unleash one of my Computer Science friends on it once his exams are done. At the very least I need a new CPU fan, and there may be something terminal about my hard drive as well.

Not much else to report really. Projects for the next few weeks include finding a way to earn money this summer, watching all the DVDs in my collection I haven’t yet found time for, building a decent photoblog and hunting down someone willing to play Scrabble with me. Oh, and I was ‘tagged for a meme’ the other day by Kerrie (aka WhimsyChick), which I do intend to complete at some point. Those of you unfamiliar with this weblog phenomenon will have to be patient. I will explain, but some other time when I’m not so tired…

Sign on the library door…

Fyse June 2nd, 2005

For him that stealeth a book from this Library, let it change into a serpent in his hand and rend him. Let him be struck with palsy and all his members blasted. Let him languish in pain crying aloud for Mercy and let there be no surcease to his agony till he sink in Dissolution. Let Bookworms gnaw his Entrails, in token of the Worm that dieth not, and when at last he goeth to his final Punishment, let the flames of Hell consume him for ever and aye.

16th-century Spanish curse