Archive for the 'procrastination' Category

A facebook group chain…

Fyse March 23rd, 2007

The slightly sinister news feed on social networking site ‘facebook’ informs me that a friend of mine has just joined a new group called…

  • I love volunteering!

All very well and good. Laudable, even. In the related groups section…

  • Marks and Spencers food is the best food in the world

Ah, so that would be a decidedly middle class store selling expensive if delicious food. Interesting, and a complete coincidence I’m sure. In turn, this group is related to…

  • 1000 reasons why the south is better than the north.

The plot thickens. And next…

  • I went to a proper British boarding school.

Am I reading too much into this? Do the relationships between groups have so much to teach us about the world? An alternative route…

  • I love volunteering!
  • Dr Karl Kennedy: Master of the Universe
  • You know you’ve been in university too long when…
  • People who don’t sleep enough because they stay up late for no reason
  • If Wikipedia Says It, It Must Be True

I have just joined those last two groups.

Day after tomorrow…

Fyse March 19th, 2007

OK, this weather is officially mental. Half an hour ago it was snowing. Five minutes ago the sky was a blinding blue, sufficient for myself and a colleague to pause by a window and remark upon its hue. Then within thirty seconds of our conversation the sky was again completely white with snow. Now? The sun is shining and the sky completely clear.

On my way home form work I will be on the look out for fist-sized hailstones, rogue wolves on ships and that pretty one who ended up with Gyllenhaal.

Confessions of a gadget addict…

Fyse March 7th, 2007

You know you’ve spent too much money on a new camera when you are woken in the morning by a call from Barclay’s fraud prevention team, checking whether your card has been stolen.

“Mr Fyson, did you make a purchase yesterday evening from Amazon.co.uk?”

“Yes, alright, I confess. I did it. I spent the money. Are you happy now you’ve made me face the truth? Is this what you do for kicks? I hope you’re really pleased with yourself.”

But was it worth it? Well, it arrives first thing tomorrow morning.

It will blatantly be worth every penny.

Revision, Cheese & Utopia…

Fyse May 15th, 2005

Since we last spoke, I have become very familiar with the wall opposite my desk in the library. After just a few minutes of Physics, the spines of books become entirely irresistible, and every title I read pushes another important equation out of my head. Rather than attempt to memorise an entire wall, I set a realistic target, and end up reading the same few titles over and over again. The last time I was so familiar with a shelf’s contents was while working for a local supermarket in my teens. The manager immediately spotted my aptitude for cheese stacking, and I rapidly became a recognised authority on the dairy aisle’s exact configuration. Friends interrupted their shopping to test me. “Where is the white stilton?” they would enquire, the glint of obscurely won victory in their eyes. “Third section along, bottom shelf, just next to the gouda”, I would respond, with almost preternatural speed.

The rising terror at my approaching exams hasn’t yet precluded the occasional relaxing outing, and tomorrow evening (wait this evening) I have a reunion to attend. ‘Utopia Unlimited’ was a show I did last September, and some of the profit made is paying for a dinner for the entire company. The Cambridge University Gilbert and Sullivan Society (quite a mouthful) is one of the wealthiest university drama societies, purely because of the lucrative yearly slot they have at the Minack Theatre. It’s an amphitheatre cut into the cliffs near Porthcurno in Cornwall, with waves crashing against the rocks directly below (and very occasionally right onto the stage). I strongly recommend you take a look at the Minack website, and there are even photos of ‘Utopia Unlimited’. Maximum credit to anyone who can pick me out. Also, there’s a great photo of the show’s finale, taken by one of the technical crew.

As it happens, I auditioned recently for this year’s show, ‘Iolanthe’. First audition last weekend, and then a recall on Wednesday, but I wont know till Monday what the score is. The entire production team will be at the upcoming dinner, probably having already made their decisions. Maybe if I can get one of them drunk enough they’ll put me out of my misery…

PS If it looks windy in the Utopia photos, that’s because it was. It blew a howling gale the first three nights, almost lifting those with billowy costumes clean off their feet. At one point it turned a dress completely inside out, and three people were required to wrestle it under control again. Fortunately it didn’t occur during one of her solos…

It’s the election, stupid!

Fyse May 1st, 2005

Though I try to keep political commentary to a minimum, I could hardly ignore the forthcoming general election, and I’ve actually already voted, since I’m voting by post in my home constituency. There’s quite a scandal surrounding the new system of postal votes, and I certainly found it very easy to do. I’m not convinced this is a good thing, since I’d have been a lot happier being forced to go through a few identity checks. As it is, all I had to do was fill in a simple form, then fill in and return the voting forms once they arrived. Sure, I had to get someone to witness my vote, verifying that I am who I claim to be, but they’re hardly going to check them all. In fact, I’d be surprised if they checked any of them. There have been nervous predictions of Florida-style shenanigans, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the results in some wards are contested. (Particularly those where there have apparently been thousands of void forms distributed.)

Diamond Geezer is a blog I have recently begun to read, and he has an interesting graphic showing the voting of different newspaper readerships in the last election. I had no idea the percentage of Mirror readers voting Labour was so high, and that as many as 16% of Guardian readers voted Conservative. As for the proportion of Guardian readers voting Labour, I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see it drop below 50% this time round. I’ll leave you guessing which paper I read myself.

Modern politics certainly doesn’t fit on the simple political spectrum, and the folks at Political Compass have handily added an extra dimension to proceedings. As well as the simple economic labels of ‘left’ or ‘right’, a new ‘authoritarian’ or ‘libertarian’ axis has been added. There’s an online test to plot yourself in this landscape, as well as graphs showing the positions of famous polemical figures, historical and current. I took the test (all 61 questions) and found myself plotted squarely in the bottom left corner. My close neighbours include Nelson Mandela, The Dalai Lama and Ghandi. Whooo!!

Football? 4 hours
Bowling? 3 hours
Work? Er…

Fyse April 19th, 2005

I’m back in Cambridge again, and slowly dragging my thoughts towards maybe starting considering preparations for work at some point in the next month. I moved back on Saturday morning, and have another nine days before lectures start. Unfortunately I have a piece of coursework due in on that Thursday (the 28th) so I really must start working immediately. Progress to this goal has been characteristically slight.

I spent most of Saturday just sorting out my room, as it takes quite a while to get everything unpacked and put away. I figure I may as well start the term with a well organised room, even if this semblance of order is short lived. At the moment my notes are well organised and filed, but if previous years are anything to go by exam stress will put pay to this. My system of ’spatial filing’ is notorious, and to the uneducated eye may appear nothing but a randomly arranged coating of paper, thickly applied to all horizontal surfaces within range. Actually of course there is careful method to my apparent madness, with different geographic regions for different subjects. A foolhardy few have ventured into this landscape unaccompanied, never to be seen again, and on occasion even I, the creator, get a little lost.

One of my main sources of exercise in Cambridge during the summer term is impromptu games of football with a motley collection of college friends. The games are casual at best (there is a strong tendency for the attacking side to display a great deal more energy), and they mostly remain good natured (with the occasional reckless challenge). On Sunday a great deal of amusement was gleaned from having placed the pitch facing toward the river. A rather shameful degree of peer pressure was brought to bear on one hapless soul, who we bullied into going swimming to retrieve one wayward shot. On Monday we had the presence of mind to position the pitch elsewhere.

Almost everywhere of note in Cambridge is within easy walking distance, but since a friend had the unexpected bonus of an extra day with his rented car, a load of us went bowling on Sunday evening. There was a stage, in my early teens, when every birthday party seemed to involve bowling, but since then I’ve not been more than two or three times. My top score is 163 about eight years ago, but I didn’t even come close to that on this occasion. I guess I’m just very out of practice, but I’d forgotten how much fun it is, so maybe I’ll take the trouble to get back in practice. Oh, and you can find a photo I took in my photoblog (link in the sidebar) but the automatically updating thumbnail doesn’t seem to be working currently. It still shows that punting photo, and there are two shots newer than that now.

Right, bed time for me. I’m gonna get up reasonably early tomorrow, and I will do some work…

New pics & hereditary indolence…

Fyse September 25th, 2004

I’ve sorted out the ‘Utopia Unlimited’ photos now, so feel free to take a look. To be honest, I don’t suppose there’ll be much of interest to most of you, but there are a few reasonable shots hidden amongst the dross.

Looks like I’m definitely going back to uni this Sunday, which is great. It’s amazing quite how much I miss the place, but I guess it is over three months since I was last there. This year wont be as much fun as the last two, however, because I will be working very much harder. It’s not an exaggeration to say that my week of exams last year was the most stressful of my life, and there’s no way I’m gonna put myself through that again. I was utterly convinced I was going to fail, and while I didn’t, I know I can do much better. This year, I’m gonna get off to a good start, and build from there. (I can almost here my friends chuckling at this, shaking their heads as if to say ‘poor old Nick, always deluding himself’. Well, your wrong. After all, I’ve only got to change the habits of a lifetime, right?)

Actually, I fear I’m fighting forces more powerful than habit alone. I am a slacker, born and bred, just as my father before me, and probably his before him. Is there a slacking gene? If so, I am surely a carrier. Are slackers formed purely by environmental factors? Who knows, but as I delight in pointing out to my parents, be it nature or nurture it is still their fault. My brother is similarly afflicted, but while my sister suffered badly in her youth, she seems now to have shaken free from sloth’s languid yet obstinate grasp. Perhaps one day I shall be similarly liberated.

Looking back, I can’t actually remember a time before lethargy and indolence possesed my very soul. Even my junior school reports, (from ages 7-11), mention my reluctance to finish things. At secondary school, I reached new levels/depths with every passing year, my GCSE projects being a case in point. For my Geography project, I worked for 19 of the 24 hours before it was due in, and technology had me trying to complete two projects in a similar time frame, neither of which ever worked properly. At university, I’m always sprinting desperately towards the lab with barely minutes remaining. (Though I have to say that I’m one of many. Cycling back from the lab last time, I was somewhat gratified to see panicked and fraught faces heading in the opposite direction.)

Anyway, if I’m gonna be a productive and dynamic go-getter tomorrow, I’d better get some sleep. I’ve got a lot to sort out before heading back to uni, and you should see the state of my room. On second thoughts, if I really thought you ought to see it, I could just take a photo and post it here. In reality, you really, really shouldn’t see my room.

A sensational new sport…

Fyse July 16th, 2004

It was during exam term at university that my flatmates and I found increasingly inventive ways to postpone revision, the highlight of which was without doubt the brand new sport of ‘Hall Rugby’. Though I cannot claim responsibility for its creation, I will attempt now to codify it for the benefit of the world. Low on effort and high on tense and fraught excitement, it’s the perfect way to throw off those exam blues.

YOU WILL NEED…

1 water bottle (empty)

    Now, opinion is divided on the exact specifications required.
Cambridge rules allow for slight variation in the weight and shape of said
bottle, (the IHRA has made certain concessions to allow for limited student
budgets) but international rules specify a 500ml Evian bottle with half a
label. Should this not be available, conversion from a standard full-labeller is possible, though to avoid damage we reccomend taking your bottle to a licensed dealer. Women’s competitions normally use a Malvern Spring bottle, for obvious reasons, and juniors start with a ‘Fruit-Shoot’(blackcurrant).

1 Bin

    Whilst there has been a movement of late to formalise the bins dimensions, a powerful conservative lobby has fought to maintain more traditional methods. As of the time of writing, it is still widely accepted that the correct size of bin should sit neatly over the head of the largest player, the rim being equidistant from neck to arm on both shoulders. Strictly speaking the bin need not be empty, though it is advised to perform a thorough inspection of the contents prior to kick-off to ensure that no unfortunate suprises await the unwary…

1 Hallway with table and dirty crockery from dinner

    The table should be laid for 4 people, ideally with plates,
forks and left over curry, but these are merely for aesthetic purposes and
are normally only bothered with in major competition. The key point is to
have 4 glasses, one by each place. These act as natural obstacles that must
be avoided, and penalties apply for any breakages.

THE GAME

Turns are taken in strict rotation, starting with the player whose first
initial is closest to the beginning of the alphabet, and continuing thusly.
The bottle is balanced top downwards on the floor and contestants take
turns to ‘welly’ the bottle in the vague direction of the bin. Courses
obviously vary, (a feature that keeps so many players coming back for more)
but a normal length is 15 carpet tiles (or around 20 feet in the modern
parlance). The table is positioned such that it is directly between athlete
and target. Each player continues to take his turn until such time as he
succesfully lands within the bin, at which point he drops out. Eventually
only a single player is left, and he is then declared a ‘loser’.
Traditionally this point in proceedings is met with much merriment from
those who are not ‘losers’, and players signal their pleasure with pointing
of fingers. The ‘loser’ then does the washing up, if the course includes
dirty crockery. Otherwise he/she performs another pre-arranged forfeit.

SAFETY PRECAUTIONS

    A recent spate of much publicised accidents has brought to
public attention once again the danger of extreme sports, not least Hall
Rugby. It is important to remember that Hall Rugby is no more dangerous
than rock-climbing or parachuting, and with a modicum of care and due
attention the associated risks may be reduced still further. Eye protection
should be worn at all times, and for training pitches the glasses may be
wrapped in cling film. Most injuries occur to spectators who have wandered
unwittingly onto the course, so warning signs and fences should be errected
whenever possible. It is advised to yell incoherently before striking the
bottle, though fans of the sport who watched the recent world championships
will have seen a new innovation of using an air-raid siren to
signal the warning. This is still in the experimental stages, and is not
recommended for urban courses.