Fyse's Floating Face

Contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly innacurate…

Category: gallimaufry

Dramatization, may not have happened…

Fyse stands at his window, gazing gravely down into the courtyard below. A sizable and hysterical crowd has assembled, with much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Clinging to one another for support they huddle yet closer, cowering from Fyse’s radiant brilliance. A lithe young lady near the front rips her clothes off in a fit […]

OK, who searched for THAT?

I obsessively check my site stats, and inevitably people find my humble abode in different ways. Many are friends from college or drama, and there are a few American bloggers who have formed the habit of popping in occasionally for no good reason. Then there are the search engine hits. It’s a bit of a […]

The Joy of Trains…

Bing-bong. “Ladies and gentleman, we regret to inform you that due to a bridge strike near Baldock this service will be delayed. The train will stop at the next station and await clearance before proceeding.” Passenger responses in the carriage are entirely predictable, and adhere furiously to national stereotype. The English appear locked in competition […]

Double-sided bread knives…

For which the phrase ‘an accident waiting to happen’ was surely invented.

Human guinea pig…

You enter a room full of computers and complicated wiring reminiscent of an old fashioned telephone exchange. Along two sides are sound proof booths of a space-age nature, a single window set into each and with heavy doors of unbreakable appearance. The room has a clinical and slightly sadistic atmosphere. Do you (a) allow your […]

Push-bike wonderland…

In the world of Cambridge transport, the bike reigns supreme. Following the grand tradition of fabricating plausible statistics, I can confirm that 90% of students in the city own bikes, of whom 75% use them once or more each day. Lectures for the majority of people (65%) begin at 9.00am, and so it is a […]

Oh yes, I’m still here…

I don’t have time at the moment for even a quick-fire update. This is just to say I have loads of posts I want to write, but no time due to exams starting on Monday 16th. I am typically unprepared, and will therefore be performing extremely badly in the tests, but am working hard to […]

Christmas Dinner No. 4

Undisputed head chef, yet loathe to delegate, my mother is crouched on the kitchen floor, frantically rearranging oven shelves in an attempt to find room for both turkey and potatoes. Atop the stove, each ring is occupied by a merrily bubbling pot, filling the air with steam and tantalising smells. My brother stands nearby, knife […]

Under the giant Freddy Mercury…

It seemed like a very odd suggestion for a meeting place, but my friend assured me all would become clear when I arrived. Leaving Tottenham Court Road tube station I was more than a little sceptical, but it would indeed have been hard to miss. Towering above the busy intersection, a massive statue of the […]

A thorny problem solved…

We can probably all agree that nothing is better on a cold winter’s night than an armchair, a good book and an open fire. (Well perhaps not all of us, but this is my blog and what I say goes.) There is one obvious problem, however. I can spend many a happy hour staring at […]