Ok, so now I’m just being cryptic in my titles for the sake of it. I feel I am at risk of going too far, with them becoming irritating rather than amusing, but perhaps I will now be inundated with comments saying they became irksome long since. Then again, I probably need a few more readers before I’m at risk of being inundated.

I’ve been watching a lot of Olympics of late, and TV viewing statistics suggest that I am not alone. I think it’s great to be able to sit down at pretty much any time of day or night and find some random, peculiar sport that you’d never normally watch. There’s nothing like settling down to a bit of sychronised 3m spring-board diving is there? To get to the point though, I was watching some shooting and in the double-trap final was a German guy who honked instead of saying pull. Honestly, he produced such a strange nasal noise that it made my brother and I collapse in laughter every time he stepped up. Most of the other contestants mumbled incomprehensibly, or perhaps grunted, (not a single person actually articulated ‘pull’, incidentally, which I find indicative of a reprehensible decline in standards), but his signal was an actually rather melodious goose-like noise. Or perhaps the horn of a really old car. I can tell none of you believe me. You think I’m crazy.

According to the Athens 2004 website the marksman’s name is Waldemar Schanz, hailing from Gross-Gerau in Germany. Wally, (as he shall hence forth be known), is a soldier trained in dentistry with a penchant for roller-blading and Stephen King novels. In 1999 he stated his ambitions were “…to win an Olympic medal and to have a happy life with love and nice people around me”. Aahhhhh, isn’t that sweet? He finished 6th, I’m sorry to say, but hopefully the rest of his life is working out OK.

But what if it isn’t? Perhaps Wally’s life is a tragic story, of a man who’s hatred for small clay frisbees was so all consuming that it precluded the search for a balanced, healthy existence? Onwards, therefore, to www.waldemarschanz.de. I’m pleased to inform you that the news is good. Take a look at Wally’s woman. According to the blurb on his gallery page she is his angelic provider of strength, so it looks like he’s found love after all. He also adds a bit of German poetry, which I can’t work out beyond something about surviving in the night and dangers. Perhaps you could translate it Max?

I think I shall follow Wally’s career closely from now on. Does that make me strange? I fear it might. In fact, this whole post has been a little odd. Just look at the time it’s been posted. What on earth am I doing still awake?!