Have you ever tried to write down a hacking cough phonetically? It’s not easy, as aptly demonstrated above. I’ve tried on many occasions to capture the essence of a truly gut-wrenching throat-clearing, but never succeeded. What is certain, however, is that ‘ahem’ is woefully inadequate. Interestingly, the word ‘ahem’ has become almost synonymous with a slight clearing of the throat, and would rarely be pronounced as written. I propose a new word, used to represent a proper, phlegm-filled cough. A cough that signals a life near its end. A cough to strike fear into the stoutest heart! A cough to shake the very foundations of all that is healthy and flourishing in this world!!

This latest addition to the English language is still under development, and its precise form a closely guarded secret, suffice to say that the above attempt is clearly crap. The point of this aimless ramble is to lead into a good old fashioned moan about my own sore throat. Spending the afternoon singing has certainly not helped, and I can look forward to croaking my way through more rehearsals tomorrow and Sunday. Luckily, the wonder of ‘Vocalzones’ throat lonzenges got me through my audition today, and with any luck they can perform a similar service for the next.

With all the rehearsing and rowing and auditioning I’ve got lined up for this weekend, I can’t quite see where the work will fit in. I can’t really complain though, having wasted the evening playing poker (I won, so not entirely wasted). Life at university would be so much easier if it weren’t for academic work…