Well, in a turn of events that threatens to end, all too abruptly, my total lack of activity, I have a job interview next week. Which is great, really. God knows I need the money, and it certainly wouldn’t do me any harm to get off my arse and do something constructive. It’s not actually that promising, though, since it’s only an interview to go onto a temporary register, which means there isn’t necessarily even a job available. Have to wait and see.

This next bit is such a cliché, (ooh, would you look at that? It’s added an accent all by itself! I ought to explain that I’m writing this in word, cos I’m not dialled up to the internet at the moment. I’m at home which means sharing an internet connection, which is irritating in the extreme. I keep trying to persuade my Dad that we need to get broadband, but he (quite rightly) points out that he doesn’t even want broadband, let alone need it. Where was I with these brackets?)

As I was saying, this next bit is such a cliché, but it’s true. It’s only when technology stops working that you notice quite how reliant you’ve become on it. My mobile phone, at an age of only 15 months, has gone silicon senile. With an almost apologetic beep, it tells me of an answerphone message left three days ago. I attempt to send a message, it takes a full minute to tell me it has no signal. It’s got to the stage where I can stand below a telephone mast, the transmitter in full sight, surrounded by people happily cooking their brains as they talk, and my phone has not a single bar of reception. Is there a form of cataracts for aerials? Am I the only one who personifies technology?

What is more, my brother’s phone (same model, similar age) is also packing up. Coincidence? Now, I’m not one for conspiracy theories, but if I told you that the major Nokia share holder is related to the ex-owner of the Texas Book Depository, the whole sordid affair begins to come into sharp focus, doesn’t it? (He/She’s not really. I made that up. I make a lot of things up. Please don’t sue me.)

Another thing. When I finally get a new phone, I may have to accept that there’s another reason why I’m not receiving any text messages…